Being a mom is a privilege, it’s a learning experience and it’s a growing experience. There’s no shortage of lessons we learn from our kids. One of those lessons need to be how to put ourselves first. Kids need what they need when they need it and will make sure you fill that need. When we don’t put them first, we can immediately feel bad about it. We question ourselves as moms and wonder if we’re doing it right. The guilt is real. I’ve read so many posts about overcoming mom guilt. There are so many to read because it’s something we all deal with.
How many times have you heard that you have to put your oxygen mask on first before you can save someone else. We hear it so much because it’s absolutely true. I’m pretty sure no one has ever had to tell a man that though. “Dad guilt” isn’t a thing. The way of the world says that kids are moms responsibility for the most part and Dads are celebrated for being involved. How crazy is that? Dad being involved should be seen as him being a parent, the same way it is with Moms. Well, since the world creates this uneven playing field in parenthood we have to take some extra steps to make sure we’re good.
Tips to Overcome Mom Guilt
One thing we can do as Moms is stop trying to be perfect. We are all winging this Mom gig! There’s no perfect Mom – because there’s no perfect person. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to check all the boxes and do all the things to be a good Mom. Doing your best, is enough. Perfection is way to much pressure and stress. No one needs that.
Speaking of perfection, we all inevitably have doubts about what we can do, who we are and what we are capable of. If you ever doubt what you’re made of – glance back. Don’t stay there, just glance back. You’ll see all the things you’ve accomplished. You’ll see things that you thought you wouldn’t be able to do and see how you slayed! Remembering what you’ve already done will give you confidence to keep moving forward to new things.
When we come into the Mom squad, all of our time ends up being given to tiny humans that we adore. That’s normal. When we can eek out time for ourselves – we need to do it. It’s definitely harder when our kids are smaller. The older and more independent our kids are, the easier it gets to carve out me time. Take those moments. Schedule them. Enjoy.
It won’t be a surprise to you that here at the Black Mom Squad we can’t stress enough to find your squad. Every Mom needs a group of women who get her, who can relate and support you. Finding that crew will be priceless.
Also, when it feels like you’re drowning in all the things – don’t. Ask for help! It takes a village for all of this Mom-hood life to work. Let your village know when you need support – and don’t be shy about it.